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What?! Am I on drugs or something?? Why is a Ferrari in my crap convertibles list? Well, just look at the thing. It’s an aberration, an abomination! Four seats in a soft-top Ferrari? Men buy Ferraris to make them look virile and successful and most importantly, available. That’s why Ferraris should only have two seats (unless they are a 456gt, in which case they are still cool!). Ferraris are a selfish indulgence for men in the midst of a mid-life crisis. There only needs to be room for the work experience girl and an overnight bag. A Ferrari that says, “Let’s have fun and the kids can come along too” is not cool.

The Mondial never looked good as a coupe and it looks even more ungainly with the roof removed. It’s actually a very nice car to drive though and it makes a great noise! It’s still crap though!

Best colour choice: Rosso Corsa (Racing red, naturally)